“Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her … ‘In that day,’ declares the Lord, ‘you will call me ‘my husband’ … I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord,” (Hosea 2:14, 16, 19-20, NIV).
Looking out over the Judean
Wilderness, these words pierce straight to my heart as they are read aloud. Today, June 21, is my 28th wedding anniversary, probably my last
one. My husband told me eighteen months ago that he doesn’t love me and doesn’t
want to be married anymore. I have cried, prayed, screamed, and held out hope,
but it is time to let my dream (my idol?) of a flourishing marriage go. Yahweh,
God Almighty, has led me into this wilderness and is speaking tenderly to me
here: “You will call me ‘my
husband.’”
Yahweh is the faithful one;
Yahweh is compassionate; Yahweh is the one who allures me; and, Yahweh is
providing springs in the wilderness. He has provided people to come alongside
and cry with me, pray with me, and break bread with me. He has provided financially
through the generosity of family and friends. And, today he provided a loving
arm around the shoulder and words from a friend: “You are never alone.”
I wonder how lonely David felt as
he tended his sheep out here. I wonder how lonely Jesus felt as he was tempted
out here. They had to depend on the provision and presence of God every moment
in order to survive. As I sit and sip from my water bottle (knowing there is
more on the bus), and look around at my new friends, I wonder if I would have
had the courage and faith to make it in this dry wilderness alone like David
did.
But, Yahweh reminds me that it is
not this wilderness to which he has
called me; I have my own wilderness to journey through, and he is providing in
the midst of it. I am never alone.
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